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Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
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Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
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If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
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[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
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Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
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Men have become the tools of their tools.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
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If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
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Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn\'t mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
The trouble with the Internet is that it\'s replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
Lohr\'s Law: The future is merely the past with a twist ? and better tools.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
Hearing nuns\' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
The truth is more important than the facts.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
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> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
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Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
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My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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